Taken ;)

Hello guys. Well . As you can see the title, yup, I'm taken by Mr Capital S. Wink wink. Betul ni. X tipu. Well meh saya cerita kan. Bagi saya, kami start couple 19 October 2013. Baru2 ja lah. Tu pun sebab dya kata "Will you be mine ?" depan2 saya. Dya pernah gtw sya that he's already mine starting when we first become close, when he gave me his dragon pendant and necklace, that is on 8th September. Sya pun terkejut juga lh bila dya kata cm tu. Tapi bagi saya, kami officially together on 19th October. Hee. 

Honestly, dlu kan saya mana suka sama dya tu. Saya first jumpa dya d gym, so kenal2 d sana lh. Jadi kawan. Tapi lama2 cm action dy sma sya lain2 bh, selalu bwa p makan n dll lh . N bila someone 2 suka kita, kita tau juga kn, ada instinct gitu. So itu lah yg terjadi sama saya, saya ada instinct n feeling dy suka sama sya, trus cepat2 saya avoid n keep away from him which I often do to guys that wanna flirt me. Tambahan lagi tyme 2 saya bru break up dengan c Mr capital N so that y lh sy mlas2 sudah mw couple nye. N tambah saya inda suka sama dya bila dya nye inda give up. Trus terdetik dalam hati "okayy. kalau dya inda pndai give up juga, let's see smpai bila dya bertahan" so start situ saya uji dya lh. Makin kerap avoid, makin kerap keep away, bila jumpa pn cm mw xmw sak saya layan dya then bila dy sms pn JARANG saya balas. kejam kan ? hahaha. n tambah lagii sayasakit hati dan benci dya bila saya nmpak ada 1 kali 2 dya upload pix perempuan, kasih jadi prof pix lagi tu, so girl mana yg x sakit hati kn. N honestly time 2 saya kecewa bha bila nmpak. makin lh saya inda layan dya. tp xtaw kenapa hati dan naluri saya kata tu just kawan/adik angkat dya. Saya xtaw lah betul kh x. berserah pada Tuhan sedja. huhu. Actually, saya minat2 bh juga sama dya nye, suka2 bh juga start kmi tjumpa di gym. Sejujurnya lah, siap saya puji dya handsome lagi, maw kenal dya lebih dalam lagii dll tapi masa 2 saya TTM sma c Mr N tu. So cepat2 lh knun sya lupakan. Well, c Mr N kn old crush, sepa mw melepas. Mntw nnt tercouple, tu fikiran saya dulu lh. Hahaha. Jadi sebab itu lah saya kecewa tu bila nmpk pix tu, bagi saya 2 girlfie dya lh. Well, kn selalunya lelaki yang upload pix a girl dan jadikan prof pix, apa lagi kalau bkn girlfie dorg kn. huhuhu.

Tapi makin saya avoid dya, makin dya cuba untuk lebih dekat sama saya. Terus pas cuti raya 2 kan, tetiba saya terbuka hati nye tuk kenal dya lebih dekat dan biarkan dya kenal saya lebih dalam. So, saya jadi rapat lah sama dya. 2 pun bermula gnye, saya mw p kedai luar bh masa 2 tp malam sdh masa 2, tw lh penakut nye susah, xda kawan lagii sya mw kluar tyme tu. x lh sya berani kluar. tetiba rumet sya kc igt sya yg c Mr Capital S nye selalu p kedai, so rumet sya suruh ikut dya. Maka sya sms lh c Mr Capital S nye,

Saya : Salam S****i, kmu dh p KL kh ? (KL = kedai luar)
Mr Capital S : Ya. Saya dh kat KL nye . Knpa ?
Saya : Oh. X. F kmu blum jalan td, saya kira mw ikut tp xpa lh . Dont worry :)
Mr Capital S : Oh. Xda kawan kmu ? Kamu dah makan kh ?
Saya : Belum. Tapi x berani saya maw kluar sebab xda org temankan. Scary bh. Huhu. Tp xpa lh. Esok2 ja sya kluar. Jan risau k :)
Mr Capital S : Hrmm. Gni lh, kmu siap2 awal, saya ambil kmu d kolej. Nanti saya teman kamu pegi and balik dari KL k.
Saya : eh. xpa2. nyusahkan kamu pula begitu. xpa lh. xpa2 juga tu if sya x turun. xmw jg sya susahkan kmu. huhu
Mr Capital S : Xpa. Siap2 lah r.

So start situ, saya makin terharu sama dya, sudah lh inda give up sma saya, mcm2 lagi dy buat sma saya bh. Yang paling saya terharu tu lah, dya never give up on me. Well actually, dya pernah gtaw saya lah, dya almost give up sma sya sebab sya langsung x layan dya kn, so dya kira saya cm inda interested lh or maybe sya nye sdh ada someone special. Tapi x juga dy give up, dya gtw sya dya try sedja smpai kalau terlampau lama sudah dya tunggu n byk sdh dy buat sm sy tp sy mc jg immune, x jg mw fall sma dya maka dya akan give up. tp nsib jg kn dy x give up. f dy give up maka x bersama lh kmi nye. hahaha

N for the first time of my life, I cried in front of a guy. 2 pn sebab saya cakap kenapa dya mc mw kejar sya, pdhl sya punya jhat punya dingin sama dya n pdhl lebih byk lg gegirl yg lebih cantik dari saya d kolej tu tp dy x juga mw give up n jwpn dya "i'm trying n never give up til it's time" alala. trus dya cakap lagii "I'm sorry for missing you. I'm sorry for loving you. And even if I can't have you, I just want you to know that I will always be there for you" trus start situ saya nangis berabis bh sebab terharu. huhuhuhuhuhu.

Anyhow, saya harap that he will be my last ;)

Membawa diri dulu.

Okay fine ! punya lh sdh dy inda peduli sudah sama saya. Sudah tw sa merajuk, nada saya b'sms lain. Saya tadi mw call dy dari td tp last2 inda jadi call sebab sa merajuk. Trus menanya, "merajuk kh ? haha" siap katawa lagi tu ! astaga sabar sak lh . Sa inda kesah lah dya mw men game kh apa kh sna. Sa tw bh dy ada life sndiri tp aduhaii tolong lh bh if mw buat something itu kan gtaw bh. inda sa cm buduh menunggu2. maw call pn takut sebab dya busy. ceyh busy lh sangatt. Last2 sa cakap sa p tidur, suri ganggu dya. trus dy cm besa sak nye. neda d pujuk . CIS !! OKAY FINE ! Suk lusa inda sa mw sms dy nye. sa diam2 sak. tgk lh. Dy blum tw lagii gaya sa marah merajuk kn. kali nye kw terima. huh !

Mr Capital S

Well this is a guy that I've once tell you all once. Ermm. Honestly, saya x pernah suka sama dya. Not even once. Minat pun xda. Tapi dulu saya rasa x puas aty sama dya sebab dya shows that dya suka saya, layan saya macam girlfie dya but dya dont even show effort. Besides, saya pun coldly treated him, ignore him, and what for sure, i keep on avoiding him. Macam2 alasan saya kasih sama dya kalau dya bawa saya jalan and kalau terjumpa dya d sana kedai luar, for sure saya akan mengelak daripada jalan sama dya. Cepat2 2 kunun jalan balik sama dya. TBH, saya sendiri pun xtw kenapa saya act so. Maybe sebab masa saya kenal dya tu, saya baru broke up sama ex boyfie saya maka tyme 2 saya masih in recovery process. So in order to not have a heart broken again, maka saya prefer to avoid any guys, i literally mean ANY guys that try to approach me. Tapi yang saya shock sama dya nye, dya keep on chasing me until my second semester. Keep on contacting me *walaupun dulu jarang dya sms saya* up until now, so kira ada dekat 7bulan sudah since saya 1st kenal dya n since dya start chase saya. So don't you think it's already a long time for him to chase me. TBH saya ingatkan lah start saya masuk sem 2 and dya masuk sem 3 nye, he will find another girl to be chase. Kan junior baru akan masuk sana, for sure akan ada girls yang chantik2 and chomel2 dari saya. Tapi I was wrong. He don't give up on me. Lalu hari tu, 7th October, kami confess f2f about apa yang terbuku dalam hati. Huhu. Saya tanya dya why he keep on chasing me after I'm being mean to you, ignoring you, keep on avoiding you. And he told me that he wants to keep on trying to get me. He don't wanna give up that early. Dya akan terus kejar sampai 1 masa if dya rasa sudah terlalu lama dya kejar saya dan saya tetap juga cold sma dya, maka dya akan quit dan back to his normal life. But, after cuti raya 2 kan, ntah kenapa naluri hati saya told me to open up my heart a bit for him. So I try lah. That is why saya mula layan2 dya sudah, mula start rapat2 sama dya, kenal2 dya. And it's turns out okay, and he's a kind guy, no doubt. So, mulai sekarang saya akan buka hati saya bit by bit untuk dya sebab dya pun sudah mula tunjuk effort to get me. Well, FYI, both our family members dah tau sal each other. Family dya taw sal saya dan family saya sudah tau sal dya. Haha. Lucu kans. Belum ada apa2 relationship, baru TTM sudah kasih kenal sama family.So, I hope dya okay lh. X macam ex2 saya yang lain :)

PPS *Peperiksaan Pertengahan Semester*

Oh gosh. Hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa nervous dan kelam kabut nya saya pada waktu ini. Sudah lah susah GB soalan dya ! Glax ehh. X pernah2 bha saya stay up sampai jam 4 am tidur jam 6. Nye lah macam first time I stayed p for every subject. Sudah lah kena pressed, pushed by all our lecturer. Alahaii punya susah. Tapi redha jx lah. Sesungguhnya ini lah jalan yang Allah beri tuk saya jalani maka saya kena hadapi dengan sepenuh hati saya ^^

Battle Scars

This is a battle between me and my heart, my feeling, towards him, Mr Panda. A year ago, I still remembered, I'm head over heels over him. I even cried for him when I heard 'bout his story with his new girlfriend. But, after I moved, I tried my best to forget him, but I failed. I wanna move on, for not falling in love again with him. And after a long time of not seeing each other and do not contact each other cause both of us are busy with our own activities, I thought I managed to not love him anymore. I thought managed to threw away those feelings, managed to move on. But, I was wrong. When we met again, in a reunion, those feeling came back to me. Which makes me felt awkward, why would it happen. And hurt as well. Cause, when I look at him, he seems like don't love me anymore. I can see it in his eyes. But... It's hard to describe. I can't even end our relationship when it don't even started. Besides, I knew why he would lose those feeling towards me, cause it's my fault anyway. When I'm far away from him, I started to have a relationship with another guy. I do this cause sometimes I felt tired of waiting. It's like I'm waiting for nothing. Then, maybe it's cause I've been single for so long so I felt like I wanna feel how to be in a relationship again. And lastly, cause I wanna try to forget him and threw away the feeling towards him. But it just doesn't feel right. Every single day, although I'm in a relationship with Mr N *my ex that time* I still thinking of him every time, wishing for him to say that he love me or something, I also felt guilty towards him, which I don't know why. But after I broke up, I said to myself I don't wanna fall in love again. That is the time where me and Mr Panda met again. So once again, I fell for him. It's quite funny even though it hurts me a lot. Haha. After that, I'm having a battle within myself. Sometimes whenever I see him or even see his pictures, my hearts goes crazy, pumping up and down, making my blood pressure goes high. But sometimes, I didn't feel anything. It's like, my heart is empty. And just so you know, I also 'steal' some of his pictures when he won an award not long ago. Since I'm not there to watch him going to the stage and winning that competition, so I make a decision to grab his pictures. Hihihi. When I miss him, I'll look at his pictures or ours when we went to the reunion. As a friend, he's very sweet and kind. He kinda took care of every one of his friends, including me. But, don't give me wrong here, THAT kindness and sweetness is not the reason why I fell for him. I don't even know why I fell for him, to be honest.
And when there's another guy try to steal my heart from me, my heart still say this loudly "I still want you Mr Panda. No matter what happen I still love you"
Now, he's going to Peninsular to continue his studies. I'm afraid he will found someone better than me there, but that is something that I can't stop. There's nothing that I can do. I just can wish for his well-being and success. Hope he can achieve his dream.
Here, I will having a battle with my heart for those feeling. The battle started cause sometimes I feel weird and confused with myself whether I love him or not, whether I should wait for him or not. I can't answer it. And in the end, it leaves scars. Scars that was made by myself. There's just one thing that I know, he is the piece of me that I wish I didn't need.

~ All the best for you, Mr Panda. Take Care. I wish I can stop loving you so much ~

Le Guys

Le guys . That's evolve in myself. Well, to be honest, saya sembarangan sedja pakai ayat BI tu kay so if salah don't heran. hahaha. It's 'bout 2 guys, Mr Panda (me long time crush) and Mr Kuching. Haha. Sometimes I describe Mr Panda as HTC and Mr Kuching as Iphone. Why ? Cause both brilliant yet smart phone as trying to steal my heart and seduced me but still, I'm loyal to HTC. Same story, no matter how many things have Mr Kuching had done, but he barely even steal my heart, even a bit. Maybe I became such cold cause of the experience that I had before. Besides, I still in love with Mr Panda even though I don't even sure how he felt for me right now. But Allah knew what's good for me. He might not be mine, but he will be my best friend. In the mean time, being best friend is much better. Haha. ;)

Reunion laggiiii. Wwwiiieeee ~~

Reunion lagiii ! Location ? MOK lagii. Haha. Hari nye jumpa c bro Izzat, Zack, Shafar, Jiera and Faizaly. Thanks pada buku c jiera, boss merestui saya tuk keluar malam sambil2 lh sya nye p lepak sana mok sma dorg. Hee. First, sy tgk jam 7lbh sdh. pikir lmbat sgt lh sdh nye, kelam kelabut ambil car key p ambik c zack trs drive p mok. skli smpai, rpnya the first to arrive. ahahahaha ! trs 15 minute gtu smpai sdh dorg shafar sm jiera. mla2 janggal sy rsa, xtw mw cer apa sma dorg tp bila c shafar sm zack buka mulut, start kegilaan dorg. lakak2 lah sudah itu katawa ! ahahaha. pastu 8:30 bru c ijat smpai sm2 c paii. Lewat sikit mereka smpai sb darii kk tuh trs straight p MOK. astaga teharu k ! huhuhu.

 Dari awal smpai abz punya best. ketawa sedja bh keraja kami serius. Thanks to all the boys lh. Trutama c shafar. 1st dya pnya kegilaan kluar terus bising2 sebab kelaparan. Astaga spnjg d mok 2, tebalik2 menyakap nasi guring pataya. hahaha ! f d starbuck buput (cendol house) kan ada makanan berat so blh mkn2 kc kenyang 2 perut tp d mok teda. mknn santai sedja ada. hahaha. then makin kegilaan dya keluar gara2 dya mengantuk. astaga punya lh sandi. tyme 2 enam2 kami sdh bekumpul kan maka mix lh sdh kegilaan c zack, ijat, paii sm c safar. bh sudah kami lakak2 katawa aasssstttaaaagggaaaa betul2 cm cafe 2 kami punya serious ! hahaha. xpeduli sudah sama orang kiri kanan. 1 MOK 2 teda bh sdh suara orang lain selain suara kami. y lain becakap cm bebisik2. kami kalau ada mic, pkai mic lagii aaahh kali becakap siap katawa kuat2. lucu sgt eh ! xblh lupa lh 2 suara c safar cm zumbii sebut nama c jiera gara2 ngantuk smbil buat gaya driving mabuk dya 2. macam2 lagii lah cerita dya p buat sna. serious lucu. senang masuk org bilang and saya serious x nyesal keluar nye malam. sangat7777 best ! I truly had a blast ! macam2 cer dorg, dari saya x faham pigi faham. haha. harap dapat jumpa dorang lagii pasnye . dapat lepak lagi cam tadi tu. cuma 1 sak sayangnya, kami xda ambil gambar bersama sebagai kenangan. huhuhuhuhu. pdahal sya sma c zack awal2 2 sudah imagine r masing2 buat gwiyomi, sorang 1 style, kn kami 6 org mka sorg satu style lh. ahahaha. sot ehh ! pastu td tyme c safar kelaparan tahap gaban kalii aaahhh, lucu sangat sebab sdh siap dya mkn 1 potong waffle, c ijat kasih lari 2 pinggan. trus mula lh 2 bising nth mcm2 dya p cakap tp bila di kasih 2 waffle balik diam sbb makan kn. ahahahahaha ! lucu k lucu ! trus bila c ijat p bli air, actly c ijat suruh saya jaga 2 waffle dr bg dya. trus mati2 c shafar merayu2 mnta 2 waffle sma sya last2 cus 3x tp sya menang. maka dya inda puas aty "aq kalah kw inda bg, jd klau kw manang apa lh kw bt ?" saya jwb "aq tgk jx lh muka kw kelaparan. ahahaha" tp x smpai aty trus sy kasih lh dya. siann bh. haha. then masa mau balikk c zack bilang " bh jum balik. ngantuk btl sdh c shafar sm bliau c shahr mrah krg." c jiera ckp "eya. n kmi nye bdak skulah" trus c shafar n ijat luyar buruk "skolah kh isuk ? staga igt cuti. sbab kami tgh cuti bh skrg nye. kn kami bukan budak skulah" pastu c jiera cakap "bh yalah. kami dua nye isuk sikulah" c ijat balas lagii "oh tu kamu dua. nye kami 1 2 3 4 inda" astaga kejam k kejam. hahahaha XD

Can never forget this night <3

Reunion !

Oya ! saya lupa cer bh saya jumpa c lovies alya n mak jemah a.k.a. Pika. Sy xtw lh dari mna dya mendapat nama mak jemah itu tp nmpknya nama mak jemah 2 sdh melekat di kapala saya. agak sesuai juga lh nem 2 tuk c pka sbb kans bukan apa. masa jumpa tu kan mcm dya bh palllliiinnngggg bnyak potpetpotpet itu ini berbagai2 bermacam gusip cerita hangats. itu ini. dari urang kami tidak kenal pigi buat2 kenal sedja. wahaha ! penuh dengan ketawa riang (eh ?) lakak2 lah mcm kedai starbuck buput 2 kami empunya. hahahaha ! nasib duduk d seeeeennnnaaa uuuujjjjuuuunnnggg . tu bru betiga. balum semua bajumpa. mun samua rasa nya mau buk 1 kedai 2 spy xda org lain dtg sbb mmg 4 sure kami lakak2 mcm 2 kadai kalau bulih rubuh. haha ! well baru bejumpa balik kans. hee. sya rindu sesangat teramat sma dorg ! xtau lagii bila bulih jumpa dan sygnya, adeh. xda capture2 pix. bagusip punya pasal laituu. haha. keychain sya mw kc sma dorg pn lupa mau dibagi. miahahaha ! tidapa lh. nnt jumpa lagii tp rasanya sudah keraja kalii aaahh baru jumpa. sodeh k sodeh. huhuhuhu

Heart skips a beat ?

Seriously truly my heart skips a beat ! Tadi petangs kan sempat lagii saya tidur smpai 5lbh. Malas mw besiap awal knun. Jam 6 bru mndi. Hahaha. Skli tyme ticking dan masa kami mw jmpa sdh smakin dekats kan, andu bh begegar tgn sya ! Nervous tahapp gabann gia ! Nervous cz jumpa besties yg sdh lama x jmpa then sb jumpa c dya. Hihi <3 

Td sya kena ambil d rumah, skali nmpk dya duduk d depan makkk aiiii nervous bagaii lh kenok hati iii. haha. buat muka chillax, masuk kereta, simply say Hi walhal dlm hati andu bh. Naik kalii aahh tekanan drh sy trus gara2 degupan laju ituh. Besalam lagi sama dya. aaasssstttaaaaggggaaa ! Teragak2 bh mau salam tp salam juga then kidum2 sorg2 d belakang. Hahaha. Sejak kebelakangan nye bru kami rapat balik, I admit it, dya pun say the same. Sebab since kami chitchat pakai Line, sjak 2 lh mcm2 cer kami share. mcm dahulu kala masa c KML. Dehh, betapa saya rindu dya. Masa chatting cm x sabar mw jumpa kunun tp siapalah saya d hati dya. TTM maybe ? haha. Pas nye saya mau apply monthly internet package nye demi chatting sma dya sedja. wahahahaha ;P
I admit, chenta saya sama dya berputik kembali. No matter how many time saya nafikan tp hati saya kepala saya tatap cakap YA ! astaga apakah ? Ntah berapa kali sdh jadi cm nye. Dulu msa jd ttm sm c Capital F off knun feel tuk dya, then on blk. Pastu, bila cpl sma c capital N, off lh tu feeling. Tp bila break kan, cakap nemaw couple itu ini. Dan dengan yakinnya saya menyatakan bahawa perasaan saya tuk dya sdh off ! Off K OFF !
Tp bila sy say off kans, sedih nye knun nye aty. Reason ? Unknown =.= Then bila jumpa and chitchat sma dya, aty nye cm inda sabar mau jumpa dya. Yes, kami 4org bjumpa tp paling x sabar saya mau jumpa is Him. Ssseeehhh. Well, he terlalu care sama saya. Masa d KML saya x pernah lupa, asal saya sakit, dya mesti akan tny khabar n mcm2. Masa saya punya mata sakit sebab stupid lens, dya punya risau, sumbody told me lh. Hihihi. Pastu, masa saya quit matrix & mau masuk KSKB, Kuching. It's a very far place so dya risau akan keadaan saya, & pd msa yg sma ad classmate dya d KML akan jd classmate sy d KSKB so dya berabis suruh sy bkwan dgn kwn dya 2 spy sya x lonely2. Sdh saya d sna, kdg2 kami bsms lh jg sblm dy bz mghadap xm PSPM. Bila saya ngadu sma dya pasal kena kacau bagaii, dya simply say "jangan layan. f dya kacau kau lagii, kau kc no aku sma dya. kw ckp lh kw sdh ad bf dan f dorg x caya, kc no aq sma dorg. pndai lh aq ceramah dorg 2 nnti" Okay, where can I find a truly sweet friend like him ? Like I said be4, we cared for each other like lovers but we're not in a relationship. Haha. Mmg nmpk lh dya worry much 'bout me study in a very far place. Far dari apa sya xtw lh pula. Sb study jauh2 sna sorg2, xda org yg sya kenal lagi bila sya p sna, family xda, tu lh kali dya risau. Dya mmg slalu risau pasal saya & sya pn xtw napa. haha. Dya sgt care dan sgt sweet okay. I admit it.

Buduh oh saya ! Knp lh sy sng2 p ganti dya sama lelaki lain msa d Sarawak ? Bfoya2 gituu. Pdhl . . . . . Susah lh mw cakap :'(Menyesal pn teda guna sdh kans bebeh ku shahrinah ? huhuhuhuhuhuhui. Tak pa lh. Yg pnting, kami tetap BFF ;) TTM ? Unsure lh pula sb ttm pn mcm ada. wahaha ! yg pnting itu perasaan saya sm dya tidak padams yet kami still berkawan. Mayb that's better for the both of us :) 

*Near, far, wherever you are, this heart of mine just meant for you*

Meet up, hangout, reunion, loviess

Kiri kunun model kereta. Kanan model Line. Haha

Jyeahh ! Tadi jumpa mereka2 loviess2 saya (Ayas, Ferris, Yen) yang selalu hangout sama saya tyme d matrix. Study bersama, lepak d cafe A, B bersama. Outing bersama. F outing 2, mesti sy sm c ayas duluan p sna UK tunggu c yen, fer n brenda blk dr church. Okay serious saya rindu itu smua. SANGAT ! :'( Masa pn xkan berputar kembali untuk main balik smua kenangan 2. Pastu kalau saya bosan tahap gaban mula lh 2 menyamakk d bilik c Yen. Hahaha. 

Tadi kami jumpa balik setelah lama x jmpa. Mula2 rasa cm okay sedja nye knun. Jumpa sedja bh. Time ticking and when the time for us to meet up getting closer, makin berdegup kechang jantung nye gia ! My heart skips a beat, seriously ! Sekali jumpa tadi mcm janggal2 saya rasa honestly, sebab saya xtaw mau cakap apa sma dorg. Last2 lakak2 katawa sana MOK cm 2 cafe hak milik kami kayy. Biarr lh. Haha. Cer punya cer sampai jam 10 bh sudah. Haha. Mula2 bila x jumpa rasa cm besa sedja, sekali bila sdh jumpa cerita2 ketawa2 seriously saya sedar saya rindu bangett sama dorg ! Sangat ! Sdh lh jarang contact, xda cer apa2 lagi bh. Saya terapat balik sama dorg nye since sya balik Beaufort sak 2 pun sbb sllu bsms bincang bila mau jumpa. Hee. Sekarang masing2 sudah bawa haluan, p belajar sanasini, saya sudah kena sana ujung borneo (Kuching), c yen d tgh borneo (KK), c fer dya ckp dy lupa tmpt stdy dya d mna (apalah. haha) n ayas d ujung semenanjung (ipoh, perak, InsyaAllah). four of us planning ambil medic course pdhl dulu mati2 I nak ambil education course. Takut kenok. Haha. Takpa, rezki masing2 kan ;)

Pa2 pun saya wish sangat pasnye akan jumpa dorg lagi. Tak kesah bila, belum kerja kh sudah kerja kh tgh practical kh asal reunite lagi. Hee ;)

Never forget each other and keep on contacting each other no matter when even though we're just text each other to ask some silly question. <3

 

Friendzone

Hye hello ola mushi2. Bh sudah cukup intro. haha. Today's post pasal c mr crush. well bukan lh bh crush sya, sudah jadi Ex crush. Ex sebab mcm teda bh sudah perasaan sya sma dya semenjak sya break sma Ex sy Mr Capital N tuu. Well, orang bilang "kau takkan jatuh cinta sama orang kedua if kau betul2 chenta sayang sama orang pertama 2 kan ?" tak faham ? pa blh buat lh bebeh. apakan daya. Hahaha. it may sound cruel but that how's the world were. Eh ? entah apa lh ayat sya nye. Ngee

Well hari nye chatting full blast saya sama dya. Happy gilax2 nye sebab tetiba dya add sya d "LINE" pastu say hye lh kenok. Haha. Maka berchat lah kami dari pagi ke petang then malam dya cari saya lagii. Oh my gash ! Tetiba berdegup kenchang lagi bh jantung nye.. Heart skips a beat gittew. Oooppsss. Hahaha ! Nvm that. Tapi saya sama crush saya ada history masa d KML dulu. Masa cuti 2 kan, saya confess bha feeling saya sama dya. Aduhaii hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa MALLUU nya saya mau buat 2 benda. X pernah k sya confess feel sya sma mna2 lelaki. Ego begitu and prinsip hidup lh kenok, mesti lelaki duluan yang confess sama saya baru saya mau terima dya kunun. Nye pun mau confess setelah d paksa2 oleh couzy2 beloved saya 2. hahaha. lalu saya confess lh, ayat saya 2 saya lupa sdh n yg dy rep pun sya lupa sdh. Tlampau banyak n terlalu fanjangs bha. haha. yg sya igt nye 1 word "i like you too" Okay that one word bikin saya beguling2 di katil sambil peluk c bear2 sambil tekidum2 memanjang. Wakakaka ! Memang senyum sedja lh tgk 2 hp. Ngee~~ Tapi kami x jalinkan apa2 hubungan. We didn't became lover or couple, instead we've became best friends that cared 'bout each other like lovers. Orang akan cakap "sudah confess, knapa x couple terus?" Well ada kesah lain disebalik itu but honestly I prefer to be his best friend rather than being his girlfriend. It may sound stupid but it's worth it. Why ? Cause when both of you became best friends, both of you can be much closer than a lover can be and no secrets between you will be hold. It may be hurt you deeply cause you are just being friend with the guy you love but as time goes by, you will get used to it. Trust me.

Besides, although you and him are lover and you both might be deeply in loved with each other and might be in a long term relationship but once your relationship end, you can't make sure that you both will speak or text to each other like old times. You might not being friends with him anymore. Right ? So , that is why we're not being together.

Anyway, I don't care 'bout it anymore. I like the 'us' right now. Speak and laugh like we've never confessed our feelings towards each other before and can talk all day long 'bout each other experience, 'bout our study place, friends and many more.

To my dearest fellow classmates BC1T4

Behold ! My ex classmates at Labuan Matriculation College a.k.a. KML, BC1T4. Well I never forget the name of my group, rite ? The guy as the center of attention, wearing white shirt, sitting, is our beloved and sporting mentor, our biology lecturer at semester 1. A funny and hardworking lecturer and truly sporting. Haha. Well, saya sedja one and only yang quit dari matrix sebab dapat SPA. Sedih tu semestinya teramat ! Saya quit pun cepat sangat sebab tengah rushing for everything. Preparation tuk p kuching then mau konvoi ambil mummy saya lagii. Macam2 lah. Sedih sangat bila kasih tinggal dorang sebab walaupun sekejap sedja sya sama dorang tp macam2 memory sudah kami buat. Semua classmates saya 1kepala and sporting. Lucu bila teringat macam2 benda yang kami pernah buat sepanjang kelas. Paling saya ingat, 4 orang lelaki tu yang selalu bersama, Watson, Ian, Farid and Pakong. Pakong sma c Farid nye kadang2 mcm x blh terpisah. Stick to each other gittew. Perangai sot2 dorang pun hampir sma jg 2. Haha. Then dorang c liza, sai, jiya, kriss. Mcm2 bnda gila dorang pernah buat and yang lain pun sma. Then muet team member sya c ain, liza J, sma c naniey bh kalau sya x silapp (candidate A,B,C,D), saya paling ingat lah nye ayat "butterfly in my stomach ? bukan setakat butterfly. macam2 insect sudah ada dalam stomach nye" bila nervous mau p test MUET> Haha ! Bila sya igt blk, ketawa sorang2 sedja nye. Haha. I seriously missed all of them. Menyesal kluar tu ada juga sebab x dapat berjuang sma dorang hingga ke penamat . saya quit awal. Saya x dapat berjuang sma2 dorang dalam kelas tu sampai habis matrix so saya minta maaf sma kamu smua.

And sya tak pernah cakap nye sama kamurang. Saya mau minta maaf sama kamu atas setiap kekasaran, kesalahan saya dan kata-kata saya yang boleh buat kamu sakit hati. Sorry sangat2 (macam hari raya pula sya minta maaf bgni) Haha.

Anyway, saya harap, nanti bila kita smua sudah beranjak lebih dewasa, sudah kerja dan masing2 sudah ada gaji, hope kita blh buat reunion and jumpa each other. Tengok perubahan masing-masing. Yang sudah kahwin, ada anak tu sila bawa p reunion tu k. Tidak dilupa juga pada mereka yang sudah bertunang atau yang sudah bergerek pada masa itu, sila lah bwa suami, anak, tunang dan gerek masing2 dan kenalkan pada we all. Ahaha.

Well, maybe some of you dah tak ingat siapa saya tapi takpa, saya sentiasa ingat you all and I will always miss you guys :') 

Dedicated to my fellow ex-classmates of BC1T4 

Story of friendship

Another day, another journey, another adventure and another story written. Apa2 sedja lah . malas sudah mau sepiking ini. haha. well. saya mau kasih cerita pasal Mr Capital K ini. X ingat lah saya ada cerita sudah kh pasal dya blum. tp x kesah lh. ^^

Mr Capital K. Maaf yeah. Saya xmau kasih tau fullname dya nnti ada orang yang kenal dya malu lah sia. Haha. Anyway, begni ceritanya persahabatan kami. Well, it's a story 'bout how our friendship started dan bukannya pasal chenta2 okayy. Soo, begini. Kami hanya kenal dari Instagram and Facebook. Both of us nye seriously xpernah pun bertegur kh apa d social website 2. Kami hanya spam each other sedja. Haha. So 1 day, tetiba dya buat status d FB, I'm here (at KSKB, Kuching) Makk aii punya tekejut saya. To be honest, lbh 3x saya baca location c Mr Capital K tu. Manataw saya salah baca kans, sbab dya itu trainee d KKA and pada masa, ketika dan saat itu all the trainee of KKA suppose to be back to their hometown for practical. Huhu. So I commented on his status, "Oh really ?" Lalu 2-3 minit begitu, dya add wechat sya thru ID sy d Insta lalu berchat lh kamiurang. Malu2 nah gia sia ini mau chat sma dy.  Mna sia kenal kn tp buat2 cool and chillax kunun beeee. Tny itu ini macam sudah lama kenal kunun. Haha. Dya p KSKB @ kolej sya tu sbab ada latihan sukan, dia wakil sarawak dalam sukan volleyball. Lalu begitu lah bermulanya persahabatan kami. Then habis chatting kami sambung texting. Ngee~
2-3 days gitu, saya ada p gym, mw p jugging sma kawan sya. Ngam2 limpas sna volleyball court, ada sya nmpak dya, tp sya x pasti actly itu dya or x sbab tau lh. Xpernah jumpa secara live kan. apa tidaks. hahaha. trs pas sya balik bilik, dya sms sya "org tagap" ahaha sbb sya p men angkat berat kunuk d gym itu =.='' Lalu dya gtaw knun bila dya nmpak saya baru dya men bagus2 knun. Haha. Funny :P

Then pda masa 1st tyme sya p jumpa dya sbb mau kasih ubat kn, tyme tu hnya Tuhan sedja tw betapa nervous nya sya ! Bukan apa tapi saya takut saya salah orang ! Tapi skali tgk ada sorang lelaki dgan kaki yg terseliuh trun dari hostel (dya duduk asrama Busang and mine is asrama Barion which is berdepan sedja. Haha) Lalu sya dengan penuh yakin that guy is c Mr K (sbb dya gtw sya kaki dya terseliuh pas latihan. ahaha) lalu kami berjumpa and bercerita macam2. We talk like we've known each other since kindergarden. Honestly, sya selesa berkawan sama dya and sya pun xtaw kenapa cm tu. Ada certain lelaki bila jumpa sya akan nervour tahap gaban tp bila jumpa dya, nervous 2 mc ada tp at the same time saya comfortable dgn dya :D

So macam2 lagi lah perkara yang lucu happen between us. Sometimes we share stories that happen to us, macam a very close friend nye :D Tp syukur lah sbab itu maknanya dya pun selesa juga berkawan sma saya. And till this day, almost every day we texted each other. X texting, mesti chatting. haha. And he always be there for me bila saya perlu somebody, contoh masa saya ketakutan, or kesedihan or mau share something, dya pasti ada :') Seriously saya terharu sama dya. Honestly, he's a sweet friend :D

I wonder. How can I meet a wonderful, nice, great, understanding, caring, loving, have his own occupation, and have the 'look', every word that I can't fully describe it, kind of guy. Yes, I've met a lot of friends. That is truly nice to me, take care of me, but yet, they still, just stay as my friend. Yes, a of of guy had confessed to me that they want me to be with them. TO be their partner. But after what happen, I've turned into an icy cold princess. I am friendly with each and every one of them but to give them my heart is far from reach. It seriously turned to ice and I felt like a walking zombie, human face but a dead heart. Dead cause I don't have any feelings called 'love' anymore. Lots of girls, when a guy sacrifice a lot to her, care for her a lot, she will immediately fall for him, am I right ? But, I'm not. No matter how hard I tried, how long the time that I have given to him to make me fall for him, I still can't and will never manage to do it. And I can't help it though. Seriously sad with this kind of situation.

Mr Capital S

Hrrmm. Him. Mr Capital S. The guy that I knew since that day I went to the g**. I saw him there, standing at the side, he's like looking at us and smiling so I ignore him since I don't know whose he looking at =.= So, I just continue my exercising activity at the g** until it's almost 7 and we all want to head back to the dorm but before we head back. I wanna try the dumbbell. Oh heck. Enough speaking. Penat saya berfikir ayat. Bekulut utakk. Huhu. Saya minta rosanne tu dumbbell ntah berapa kg 2. Ngam2 dy pn ada dekat sana, dy suruh saya angkat 2 pemberat yg pnjg 2 (xtaw apa namanya) so saya angkat lah. 10kg ja pun. X berat tp pas angkat 2, maw taw sedja keperitan dan kesakitan d tangan 2. huhu. So saya start kenal dya dari sana ^^V Then masa Dinner MPP 'Malam Muhibbah', dya p meja saya, tnya blh duduk sebelah saya kh x, saya kc sedja lh since there's no one sitting there. So kami cerita2 cam rapat berabis nye. Hoho. N entah kenapa ttba c Wawa kasih saya pnya clutch sma dya. Terus dya nemaw kasih saya balikk sampai lh bas ambil kami datang. Dya maw balik baru dya kasih saya 2 clutch. Seriously, I'm tired of trying to get the clutch from him. Huhu. So, since then, kami exchange phone number and texting lah. Now dya balik sdh, cuti sdh dya and honestly I missed him. Ada cerita b4 dya balik. That day, last paper dorang bh, I still remember, it's 16 May. Pas kami MLT sem 1 habis meeting (time 2 kmi xda paper sdh), we all pegi cafe d Blok Orkid. Tetiba he call me, asking me where I am. So i told him, "di cafe blok orkid' and dya gtaw saya dya maw p tmpat saya. Ingat dya just joking so saya ignore lah. Skali tgk, betul2 ada okay ! Dya p jumpa saya sebab dya tyme 2 maw balik sudah. Seriously saya touched sebab I'm the last person he met before he went home walaupun pada saat dan ketika itu dya sangat rushing. Huhu. Tapi, after what happened to me, my heart had locked. I already put up all the fences and locked it down and my heart had turned to icy cold. Walau apa pun dya buat, mana2 lelaki lah, susah sdh dorang maw dapat hati saya. I have to change thanks to my past. :l

It's ended not long ago

 

 Hey. Long time no posting ==" Well. Today story is 'bout my relationship that has ended. Remember my last post saying that I'm taken by Mr. N. Well, it already ended. Our relationship only last for 3 weeks and we broke up w/o any argument or fights, if that's what you think. Why would we broke up. Well, I can't tell you the detail cause it's kinda or will embarrass him. Cause he's the one that wanna broke up. Anyhow, it just ended. Now, what's worst, he's blocking me in each and every of his social internet account : Instagram, Facebook. Everything. I just know what he's motif was. He made all those un-logic decision and action like I'm the one that wanna end our relationship and like I'm the one doing mistakes here. But it's okay. I'll let him off and be happy with her cause I know, karma will help me. I'm not holding grudge, revenge or vengeance. I'm a forgiving kind off person but I still believe that no matter when and where he goes, karma will always stay by his side, chasing after him, waiting for the right moment to make him feel what I felt before ;)

*27th March - 18th April*

Broken hearted

Saya speechless. Heart broken okay. Muka saya kena cakap banyak d sana sini ? Hina sangatt kh saya nye sampai kena cakap cm tu ? Benda nye saya pendam sedja. My roommate heran saya ttba nangis but nasib at the same time I watch a movie so I can pretend that I cried sb tgk movie tu. Seriously sakit aty nye bila baca. Yes dya handsome n muka saya nye besa sedja.  Tp tolong, mw hina 2 jangan lh cakap muka sya nye BANYAK d sana sini. I know I just an ordinary person compared to him. Saya bukan cm perempuan lain. Ayu, chantik. But, apa saya boleh comment. Dah itu fikiran dorang kan ? dah itu yang dorang judge saya, terima sedja lah. even though it's hurting me. But I'll try hide it from everyone. :')

Pretending To Be Strong. Pretending To Be Happy. I felt like I'm fake now. Pretending in everything. :'(

Taken by Mr. N *wink*

Hey everyone. Another new post. It's 'bout the end of my singleness =D Felt very happy 'bout it ;) Well, I'm taken by Mr. N (can't mention his real name though cz we haven't ready to reveal it to the world :P) 

How we met ? How we know each other ? How we contact each other ? How he 'propose' ? Well, I'm 'bout to tell you :P

Actually, we know each other since we're in secondary school but at that time we were just know each other's name, FB, and we just have a conversation on facebook like comment each others post. So it can be said that we're not close at the beginning. 

Then, I still remember on the 30th December 2012, it was the time that everyone of us have to fly to Kuching (SPA). At the airport, I saw him. But I just smile and do my own business. But then, he call my name (full name kay) and ask me where did I get the ticket so I show him the way. So, it can be said that, that's our first F2F conversation. Haha. :D

And then, our 2nd meet up. When we have our mid-term break, on 2nd to 10th march. I was at the airport (2nd march), alone and bored cause I got there too early. My flight was at 1.35 pm but I'm at the airport at 7:30 am. So can u imagine what would you do when you were left alone at the airport for a very long time. Cause every one of my friends already 'fly' to their own hometown. so, as a conclusion, I went to Starbucks and online. But, unfortunately, no wifi provided == So, I was just sitting there, drink my Choc Blend n watch Vamp Diaries Season 4. Then, my classmate came and she hang out with me for a few minutes. Then, when it's almost 12, I brought her to go to the counter n check-in. After that, I went to 'bag-dropped' my luggage. That's when I met him. Well, TBH, when I pushed my trolley, I don't even look left n right. But suddenly, my heart told me to look at this 1 guy. Which makes me feels awkward so I look at 'that guy' and it happens to be him (Mr. N) Both of us were shock at the first time and guess what, we were in the same flight ! So we went into the plane alone. I never thought that he would want to go into the plane together with me since it was unplanned and we're not that close but he just waits me when I'm having 'trouble' at the custom check (stupid people). So at that time, lots of people looking at us and they like making a signal that we are couples that went back together. =.=' So, KKIA, he ask for my phone number cause we promised to go back together :) Guess what, our flight to kuching were also at the same time, same date. Shocking huh ? Just like the story of love novel or love story :D 

9th march, the date we went back to Kuching, we met at KKIA lh. Then when we're arrive at Kuching International Airport, what he'd done to me made me touched and wanna cry. Why ? Well, at the airport, my bro's friend (apiz) haven't arrived yet and Mr. N's friend is already there. So I physically and mentally prepared that he will leave me alone there. But no, he didn't. Instead, he's waiting for me and ask "is your bro's friend here yet ?" I said not yet. N then 5-7 minutes later, Apiz came so I told him that I'm going home. N he's giving me lots of advice like be careful, take good care of yourself n dot3. So, i went out and wave at Apiz. And shockingly, he waited until he sees Apiz's cars. After he saw apiz, he started to go back. Weird huh ? So, we started texting each other at the very same night. Until today. 

He propose me on 27th March. A very special, sweet and memorable date. Why ? Can't tell you :P First, he say this to me. 

Him : "I have something to tell you :*"
Me : "What is it ?"

Him : "Can I love you more than a friend from now on ? Not as TTM but more than that ?"

Me : "Oh. Sure you can ;)"

Him : "Really ?? So I'm accepted ?  :D"

Me: "Yeah, really. You are accepted :) It just that there's one thing I wanna tell u and ask you to do"
Him : "Oh. Okay. What is it ?

Me : " I want you to meet my brother and sister. Cause they told me before, that if there's a guy want me, they want me to bring him to meet them. And I already promised it to him :)"
Him : "Oh ? If that's the case, then I'll be brave when I have to meet them. Is it now, that I have to meet them ?"
Me : "It's kind off a will from them. So do you really n seriously wanna meet my siblings ?"

Him : "i see. yeah. If that's the condition then I'll do it :)"

And I'm happy after hearing that :'D

*1 year and 5 months, and my life as a single girl has ended ;)*

Dedicated to : Faiqah And Tty Lim ;)

No more FK

 

 Hey. Good morning n happy holiday guys (It's Good Friday). Well, saya just maw share 1 thing. The guy that I mentioned bfore, the guy that I call FK. We have no connection already. Why ? There's a lot of reason why. 

1. He's being rude 2 me. Bersikap agak kurang ajar okayy. Saya xda reply text dya, lalu dia memanggil sya 'hoi!!' Oh my ?! Lelaki bgni kh yg sya perlu jadikan boyfie ? 

2. Terlalu kuat jeles. Kami blm couple sdh dy kongkong sya dar buat itu dan ini. Blm lg couple. N saya sdh penat + serik mengurus org kuat jeles nye. Penat tw ! Huhu.

3. Then when I didn't reply his text, naaaa, muncul lh sgala mcm tuduhan dya sma saya. Pdhl bila dy x rep text sya, sya chillax sedja nye. Teda juga tuduh dy apa2. huhu ==

4. Dy x serius mw saya. Yes, mmg btul dy ckp mw call abg saya, but when we met n I tried to give him my brother's phone number, he refuse to take it. Dy maw juga sya sms bg dy 2 number abg sya. Siap mnta tlg sya lg, pa mw d cakap sma abg saya. f cmtu better saya couple dgn diri sya sndiri f ayat 2 saya yg fikir. gpun my couzy already help him bh but he still ask me what to say, blk2 nye. F he really serious, dy akan ambil perhatian bh 2. So I can see lh, dya nye jenis yg mw have fun sedja. So i better be off before it's too late sbb I'm the kind of person that into serious relationship. not puppy love.

2nd Futsal Match

       Me *wink wink*

      Willboy 

      Apa sya buat sma c Luqman 2 ???

  Dira N Her BF ~ The Sweet N Married-To-Be Cpl

       Luqmna N Me *Manager N Artist*

      Liza

       Our Coach, Jafson

      Penonton Setia, Tharwan

       Off We Go ~

Netball Match 2

2nd match of Netball. Quite nerve racking for me cos for this match, I don't eat much on lunch time. So, the whole game I played, I often shaking & my face look pale. My teammates often ask my condition but I kept say that I'm fine. I have to play as the center :) 

1st match against Auchak, we won. 3-2. Quite danger there but thanks goodness we won. Then, we just rest for 3 minutes, then we had another match VS MA Sem 1. & their center played roughly, pa blh buat ja I was weak that time so all I do is make that center girl tired even though I was DYING IN THERE ! But, unfortunately, we lost. 10-0. It's okay, we already do our best. So, quite happy for that result :)

Netball match

*Trepp muka pemain bola . ahaha*

Netball match that we face yesterday and today. 4 the 1st tyme lh saya main 2 benda *same case dgn futsal* . Bygkan saya main bola jaring, mcm main basketball. maha ganass jokk. byk kali kena tiup wisel sb kn netball byk rules. hahaha. x kesah lh, yg pnting enjoy bh. result ? 1 win 1 lose. win masa awal2 tu. then 3 minutes later kmi lawan lagi, so bygkan lh kmi2 yg sdh penat nye, lawan org yg mc fresh lg. agak x adil di sana kn ? hahaha. tp x pa lh. everyone dh do their very best to fight for our team against them. hahaha. masa game kn, saya pny position Center bh so center pihak lwn nye men kasar *sgt* men tarik2 baju bh tyme guard. so saya manas, sya bwa dy lari half court n dy oun bunguk jg. pigi follow2 walhal bola tyme 2 blm kena pas pn. x pasal2 kwan2 sya ketawa brabis. sy pn t'ikut jg lh, pdhl kunturul muka sdh nye, mw bt muka serius. ahahahaha. tp x ksah. pa2 pun, smua dh selesai. n syukur alhamdulillah, everyone ckp cara saya main cantek, blh tahan so bsyukur lh sb x truk. hee. 

Agak 'sweet' ya d situ *kesotan melanda* ahaha